YONS: 2 week update

More like 3 weeks, but who is counting?!?

Mid-July Update/Reflection: 

Vehicle Purchase: 

The main trial I have been dealing with in the month of July is buying a new car. My car got totaled in a flash flood (I am ok!) and seeing that is was 23 years old, it wasn't worth much. I considered a variety of options - buying something with cash ($3,000) or something newer and more expensive (for the sake that I planned to have the car for a long time).

I ultimately decided to go somewhere in the middle, and spent under 10k (not including taxes) I did my due diligence, shopped around a lot, was aggressive in my negotiations and stuck to my guns. I finally ended up with a car that I love, feel comfortable with (another Camry), with low miles and spending a little less than I expected (with a lot of equity in the car as it is worth almost 4k more than what I paid). I found it on Facebook marketplace, with one owner- and my mechanic gave it the seal of approval and is giving me a great deal on tires.

This is the biggest purchase I have ever made, and while I really don't like  hate the idea of adding to my debt at this time, it was something I felt more comfortable doing than buying something with more miles and a longer past. I know that a lot of the members of the spending fast facebook group I am in were proponents of only buying with cash, but in the end I had to do what was best for me.

Spending Fast: 

It's going great! I haven't been perfect but I have had many wins so far.

1. I had a vacation (weekend getaway) planned already so I couldn't cancel, but made sure I had a budget before going. I spent under budget! 
2. Eating out has changed drastically! I have bought a couple sodas or coffees, but not a single meal (except my trip) has been bought! Hoping to see that number at ZERO in August. 
3. I have walked around stores and shops and walked out empty handed many times. I enjoy walking around, and it feels really good to not buy anything. I realized how many times I would walk in a store and feel the need to buy something (especially at Costco!!) - I walked out of Costco empty handed. HUGE win! 
4. My planning ahead for meals has been wonderful. I am proud of my creativity in the cooking process, and also how much healthier overall things are. 
5.  I canceled DirectTVNow! 

It is NOT easy. I have been tempted so many times already to buy concert tickets, festival tickets, drinks out, etc. Most of my wants have been experiences. Some losses:

1. Having to remind people constantly of the fast. And having to explain it. It feels a little embarrassing because while I don't share my debt number, I am putting it out there that  I do have debt, and it feels like people feel sorry for me. Most people are awesome and understanding- but having to explain or remind people makes me feel like a broken record. I have to remind them that its a choice and that I have major goals to achieve. I also have to remind myself that this is for ME and no one else. 
2. Unexpected costs- my phone bill went up this month unexpectedly, and they removed my employee discount! Also, I overdrafted last month because I put money aside in my savings account and then it didn't transfer in time :( the lesson was to wait until the end of the month to put aside money. 
3. Groceries and meal planning: I haven't been terrible, but I do justify temptations in the grocery store a little bit because I am not eating out. For example, I have bought a bunch of the high protein, low calorie ice cream which is a bit pricey. I think every once in a while is fine, but I need to find a balance in there. This is a FAST after all. 

Things to Look Forward To: 

1. Continuing to improve in this process. Getting more creative, finding small ways to cut costs, participating in FREE activities and deals. I plan to get a clothes line to dry my clothes, and next month I want to meal prep a ton of frozen stuff so I can have it ready to go. I  installed Ibotta and the Walmart app on my phone for more savings. I am considering getting onto my mom's cell phone plan to cut my bill by half as well. 
2. Seeing the numbers go down! 
3. While I realize I added to my debt with the car, I am trying not to beat myself up and see the positive. The timing of this journey could be looked at as bad, but in some ways, losing my car is even more motivation to stay on track and committed to this YONS. 

Next up: 

I will be back at the beginning of August to talk total numbers, wins and losses from July, and August plans. Stay tuned! 

29, Feeling Fine (actually better than fine!), and YONS

I turned 29 this month, and though just a regular day in many respects, it was also a time for me to pause and take a look at my life thus far. Obviously for the main reason that 30 is coming! I am not one of those people to dread getting older. I truly believe it is a gift, and am very grateful for the life I have lived thus far. I have loved and been loved, developed a support system that is strong, lived on my own, moved far from home, built a career that I am excited about and proud of, had many adventures and unforgettable memories...the list goes on. I am proud of my life. 

Except a few things...

There are aspects of my life that I think are holding me back from the fullest potential I have. I think we all have pieces of ourselves that we want to improve upon, and I also believe that it is a lifelong journey that we embark upon.  Regardless, the act of working toward these goals I have and then accomplishing those goals, would mean so much to me. It would prove to me, and the rest of the world, that who I am on the inside matches who I am on the outside. 

My two main goals involve weight loss and financial wellness (ie debt and savings). I have talked about weight loss in different iterations on this blog (as I have had this blog inconsistently since 2013) and have lost and gained quite a bit. Financial wellness has never been an issue until a couple years ago, when I came face to face with what I owe (but still ignored it). I have completely come to terms with the fact that both of these issues are no longer remedial, put-a-band-aid-on-it, attribute to being young and dumb, and sweep-under-the-rug-problems. The fact is, being probably 50 or so pounds overweight and carrying a pile of debt is going to hurt me in the long run in a more external fashion, than just dealing with shame in the dressing room, or paying a minimum that will never make a difference. Being obese will impact my long term health and longevity, my joints, my ability to do active things well into old age- not to mention possibly cause diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure and even cancer. Being in debt feels like being shackled up (much like being overweight) but keeps me from the freedom to make certain decisions like buying a house or car with ease- it also make emergencies (like my car being caught in a flash flood and totaled) way more scary. Both of these issues can tie together, in making the problems worse (being obese is more expensive) BUT can also tie together in reaching a solution faster. Enter the YONS...

What is the YONS?? A cool new acronym the kids are saying? Not quite. YONS stands for Year Of No Spend. Inspired by the "Spending Fast" that Anna Newell Jones of AndThenWeSaved.com writes about in her book The Spender's Guide to Debt Free Living, it is exactly what it sounds like- a year of zero discretionary spending, for the purpose of overcoming mountains of debt (or saving a ton of money, whatever you may need). I had been wandering around the debt free community, aimlessly for months, and stumbled upon Anna's book. I checked it out from the library and was immediately inspired. No consolidation loans, no recommendations to declare bankruptcy. Just seriously cutting back, on everything. 

So, I followed the steps, (which you can too!), figured out the crazy amount I had been spending on discretionary crap (bars and Starbucks - I'm looking at you), and once I saw that number and multiplied by 12...I was sold. A year to pay off a majority of my debt??! A year to be incredibly mindful, disciplined, and laser focused? ONE YEAR to be free. One year, out of my 30 years of life, to get to a place of less shame and worry. When you put it that way, it just doesn't seem so bad. So I made a list of my needs and wants, and decided that July 1, 2018 was going to be DAY ONE of the YONS. 

It might sound crazy. Impossible. Scary. But so is debt holding me back from my dreams. When I think about the possibilities beyond this year, I get so excited. In a year or so, I will be able to buy a house if I want, travel more frequently (using cash!) save much more (towards said house and the repairs it will need) and deal with emergencies and unexpected issues with comfort. I will also learn so much about what I actually need and want, and how to squeeze every ounce out of the money I spend. I know I can do this, because I was raised by a frugal and creative lady! 

So how does this impact my weight loss? The main way is that I won't be eating out, or drinking at bars/breweries for a year. I will be pushed to think outside of the box for activities with my friends that are free. When I cook at home and shop for groceries I am pretty healthy, so it can only help! 

I am going to maintain this blog to track my progress, share tips, trials and triumphs, and hopefully be a source of support and inspiration for others looking to be debt free. In the future I am going to post about what I defined as my needs and wants, my socializing strategies, money saving tips I find, my progress every month, special accomplishments (certain things getting paid off for example) and admit when I screw up. I am also going to post about my weight loss as well, but not as much. 

June Results: 

This past month I did a sort of "test run" (didn't go cold turkey) and saved approximately $700! Knowing that I accomplished that, and still could have cut much more, shows me how amazing this process will be! Thank you for following along! 

A Love Letter to Seattle

Dear Emerald City,

When I was younger, I never thought the West Coast would be appealing to me. I thought the people would be too weird, the scenery boring and obviously, I had grown up on the East Coast, so the unfamiliar was scary. I was so young and so naive.

Fast forward to 2013. I was nearing the end of my graduate program at UNC Greensboro, and the pressure to find the perfect job after graduation was closing in. I was originally looking for jobs in the Southeast...but as I began to research cities -Austin got added to the list. Denver. Minneapolis. Chicago. Portland. Seattle. I made it to the West Coast!

At the time, my dad was working in Washington state, so I scheduled a visit to see him, which was only my second time on the West Coast.

Seattle was rainy and wet in March of that year. We did the usual touristy stuff, like ride the ferry, go up the Space Needle, go to Pikes Place Market. It was so green, and even though gloomy, I liked the feel. There was so much to do and see, but it wasn't overwhelming like New York City, or even DC. It felt...familiar. When we drove onto the campus of the University of Washington, I knew that I wanted to work in this beautiful city.

In May, I was offered an on-campus interview at the University of Washington Bothell. May isn't typically a sunny month, but that day was clear and gorgeous. Growing up in the Southeast, you only see pictures of snow-capped mountains. The beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains I grew up near look like rolling hills in comparison to your Cascades and Olympics. Driving down 405, straight towards Rainier was surreal. Everyone said I was so lucky to have the weather that good while I was there: I think it was a sign.

Moving to Seattle was harder than I anticipated. I was lonely, and my job was consuming. I missed the familiarity of home, as much as I reminded myself how lucky I was to live in Seattle. I didn't realize how normal these feelings were, especially as I went through my first cold, wet, dark Washington winter.

Slowly but surely, I made friends and had visitors to explore you with. The Seahawks won the Super Bowl that year, and I became a lifetime #12thman. I began to fall in love with you, Emerald City.

You gave me so many firsts: pho, mountain biking, boating, (real) breweries, bocce ball, shuffleboard, kayaking, real coffee, Crossfit and weightlifting- just to name a few.

 You offered some of the most spectacular views, and whether driving down I-5 or along Lake City Way, I often had to pinch myself and try not to take a picture every. single. time. The summers were worth every long, wet winter because around the corner were long days of endless blue skies, snow capped mountains every way you looked and bodies of water filled with people boating and kayaking. 

You brought me to some of the best people I have ever met in my life. People who are kind and generous and with open hearts. Who think like me and made a huge impact on my life.

More than anything Seattle, you gave me the space to come into my own and make some of the best memories of my life so far. In between grueling, rewarding work days, coffee shops and bar crawls and baseball games, mountain views and workouts I never imagined being able to do, I became stronger and more sure of who I am. I fell in love and got my heartbroken. I lived alone for 3 and a half years. I said yes to everything, went on wonderful, wild adventures, ate delicious food, danced, and sang, and played, and talked and laughed and cried. I traveled. I became a better professional, a better friend, and a better version of me. I was myself and found people I could be completely myself with.

I know it is a part of the grieving process but I ache to be back. I ache for the familiar views, familiar faces, the routines, even for my old job. Even the gloomy weather sounds comforting. My heart will always be in two places at once. I am thankful I took a chance four years ago, and said yes to the best adventure of my life so far.

Love,

Rachel

Another new chapter

written July 2016

So, in my last post about 7 months ago, I alluded to change and transition on the horizon. I said that I was going to reflect on my 2015.

Well, I started the post. But never finished it. I guess life got in the way. I guess it was hard, I guess I was busy...etc.

Anyways, I digress. I said that I was focusing on my health and weight loss again, and that I was preparing for job search number two (which I will talk about!!) And its all true, but one big thing has changed.

I am now single. My relationship was a huge factor in the change and transition that I was preparing to happen at this time. I honestly thought that I was with the person who was going to be "the" person.  I can't really say where things took a turn, but I realized that it wasn't going the way I wanted it to. I was willing to be flexible, and patient and supportive. It is, after all, just who I am as a person to be empathetic and compassionate. And I was all of those things throughout the course of the relationship. I mean, I am not perfect, no one is, but I believe that I loved with my whole heart, and truly exhibited courage and faith in a lot of ways. But there was something gnawing at me for a long time, causing me to be stressed and emotional and not my best self.

The one emotion I didn't expect, but that I have felt most of all when I ended it was- RELIEF. I feel free, free to not give a flying you know what, what he thinks. Whether he is wanting me in his life anymore, whether he sees a future together, whether he wants kids and if I could be okay without them, whether he thinks I'm sexy, or smart enough, or successful enough. I don't care. I want someone who wants me by his side, and he didn't, and that was enough for me to say that I was done.

You know when you just KNOW something? Like, there is no hesitation, there is no turning back, this is your decision and you know if you don't choose it, you would never be at peace? Yeah, I felt that. And it was honestly the most amazing feeling. Because in that moment, my confidence and self-compassion was in full force. I could not be more sure about anything, and I had full control. No matter what, I was making the choice that was best for me, and I knew exactly what it was. Everything was in sync and I felt at peace. I mean, I was obviously nervous, but I knew with every bone in my body, that I had to end things. And so I did, with conviction. With all of the faith in myself in the world, I stood my ground and told him that I couldn't accept it anymore. And that was that.

I have never felt more powerful. I never want to forget that feeling.

This relationship taught me that no matter what you might give to a person, how much of your best self you bring, that doesn't change or mean that the other person will bring that with them. And even if they do, in their mind, it doesn't mean that it will align with who you are and what you want. It also taught me that my value and worth should not correlate according to someone who cannot exhibit and articulate what they value about you. But when you love someone so much, you want to feel valued by them. You want them to SEE you. Sometimes, we get glimpses of ourselves, from an outside perspective and we see the amazingness that we are. Every once in while, on my journey to self compassion and being my own BFF over this past year, I would reflect on myself, and feel so much love for who I am (not to be conceited or vain) and then I would think- why can't he see this? Does he see this?

The other thing I learned? I am surrounded by amazing people who love me. My AOII girls here in Seattle, my sister, my gym family, my co workers, my students, my friends all across the country, my mentors. I have LOTS of people in my corner, who see the amazing person that I am. Why did I look for validation and approval from the one person who isn't really capable of giving it? ugh deep questions. But that doesn't matter, because the people that really know me, really see me, see who I really am. I am so loved, I can't even believe it. The power of that is incredible, and now that I am out of the relationship, I don't know why I worked so hard for crumbs, when I was completely nourished by even just one person in this tribe that I call mine. My cup runneth over BIG TIME, and I am so grateful. 

I am SO excited about what is to come next for me. I have a renewed energy, my old self is awake again, but better than ever. I am excited about almost every day, and especially the next few months (instead of dreading them).

2 years later... (part 1)

Hello there! It has been a while. I am back, but now on the West (best?..) Coast!

I really have wanted to start blogging again - because well, my life has changed SO much in the past two years. Maybe not in a huge impactful way, but in a way that I can't even remember the person I was two and a half years ago. But with everything going on, all of these transitions, all of the events, all of the decisions I have had to make or am making- well, got in the way of even wanting to document these things. But maybe I should have. It could have helped make sense of it all, or maybe kept me grounded. I think as a 20 something who moved across the country, after ending a long term relationship, just starting my first (real) job, in a place I knew no one- change was bound to happen (DUH). And now I wish I had documented more of it, not only for me, but for others who are probably going through similar things. I really don't think my experiences are that unique or special, but that doesn't discount that they were tough, and that I am tougher because of it. So here I am.

Anyways- I think that and with the upcoming transitions I know are going to happen are triggering me to blog again. I am a third year resident director. THREE YEARS. I came into this position uncertain about my path, and I can tell you, I am no more certain than I was 3 years ago. I am certain, however, that I love and appreciate my job in residence life more than I ever thought possible.

In student affairs (and probably lots of careers), there is no certain, clear path for one's career. There isn't a magic formula of positions and years served to get you to that director-ship, or the VP office. When people ask me "what's next?" I don't like to give a concrete answer. Because a) I don't know and b) there are so many possibilities. There are so many pieces of advice given to first-time job searchers, but what about the second time around? How do you know when it is time? What factors into that decision? Are you qualified for the next step?

So all that to say, I am ready to document my journey again and give some perspective on my experiences that can hopefully help others in student affairs, and maybe just 20-something women in general. Establishing myself as a new professional. My struggle with my weight. Starting life in a new city. Dating. My ever-evolving growth as an advisor and supervisor. My struggle with money and budgets. Basically, #adulting

 

I am so ready for 2016 and seeing what my future holds. I feel very much like I am where I was this time 3 years ago- refocusing on my health and weight loss and preparing for my next career move. At the same time, things are very different. I am excited! 

Stay tuned for my next post as I reflect on 2015 and all this year had in store for me.

Graduation, Job Interviews, and Reflection

Wow! Have I been MIA. I think I have a good excuse though...I have been traveling, interviewing, graduating and celebrating! With all of that, my weight loss has kinda gotten off track. But nothing crazy- so just gotta get remotivated :) 

  

Let me do a re-cap of everything that has happened in the past few weeks. 

Warning: Long Post Ahead

My cohort and I started celebrating graduation a week ahead..

 I love these girls so much!

Our ADIOS GREENSBORO party!

A few weeks ago I was having a regular Monday at work...I was scheduled to meet one on one with my supervisor at 11...I gchatted her to check that we were still on to meet and she said she would come get me at 11:30. When she came and got me,  I grabbed my notepad and we started to walk into the conference room- the blinds were shut and I remember thinking "Am I doing a presentation?" 

I walked in and about 15-20 of my students were there to surprise me!! There was pizza (duh) and presents! 

 

Some of my students had been sending out emails to all of the scholars several weeks prior asking them to write me notes/letters as I will be leaving in June. They put the notes together in a scrapbook that I could hold onto(pictured above). It was the one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me! I felt so special, humbled and grateful to have had the opportunity to work with these students. Its so easy to get caught up in the every day administrative duties and to-do lists...but I absolutely adore my work with college students- especially ones like my scholars- who have faced really tough obstacles in their life and have persevered. Their words were so thoughtful and when I'm feeling grumpy about work I can always look back at that for a reminder. Ah I love my work!

 

 Later that week I headed on a short trip across the country for an interview! 

 It went really well! More about that later :)

I then came back on Thursday, just in time for my parents to arrive in NC for graduation on Friday. Friday morning we woke up and my mom declared I needed a new dress for graduation..so we went to Belk! I love Belk's dresses so much, and I got mine below for 50% off! 

My balloons! Dress: Belk

 We ate at Mellow Mushroom before the ceremony...my fave! 

 

 My beautiful sister and I. Of course we're matching! 

One of my best friends, Michelle, came all the way from Richmond to my graduation. This girl is one of those friends that you can go months without talking to, but when you pick up the phone its like no time has passed. I have a few friends like that and I know they are my forever friends. 

Soon it was time to head to the ceremony. Getting a Master's degree is strange, at least for me.  I  felt more like I was a part of a team working to get our degrees and not just a singular person (obviously the point of a cohort lol) All in all, I was so excited to be graduating with these amazing people that will always be my colleagues and that I am lucky enough to call friends. 

Student Personnel Administration in Higher Education Class of 2013!

 Those silly sleeves for Master's candidates...that also doubled as pockets! 

 Co-workers and friends

 Waiting our turn!

 UNCG...can't you see it? Love these girls

 Woo hoo!! Yes! 

Wouldn't have been able to do it without Erin and Allison. We always said how thankful we were for one another through the really tough times. I'm so grateful to have had them to bitch with, celebrate with, drink with, study with, and talk through life with during the many ups and downs of the past two years. They're amazing student affairs pros that I call some of my closest friends!

 My family, love them.

Saturday some people in my cohort and I hosted a cookout for our families and friends. We ate and drank and played cornhole! It was glorious.

 Some grads! (Sorry its so dark)

My friend Holly- another huge support for me over the past two years! When I was looking for assistantships, she called me about the one I have now, and the first thing she said to me was "You go to VCU? I have been rooting for the Rams through the entire tournament!!" (When VCU went to the Final 4 in 2011) I knew at that moment we would be friends, but I never knew how great of a friend she would be! 

 I never really got a chance to think about how much this Master's program and the people I have met have effected me. This experience taught me so much about myself and redefined the work I want to do and why I want to do it. When I decided that I wanted to work in student affairs with college students back in my junior year of undergrad, it was because I believed I had a less-than-satisfactory experience as a college student and wanted to help others not have to go through what I did. Now I look back on my experiences and realize that without them, I wouldn't have the empathy that I have now for those students who are lost in their careers as students and as young adults.  Because of this program and experience, I know what I want and don't want from a position, a supervisor, a school, relationships and myself. It truly has changed me and caused me to grow beyond, wayyy beyond the work place and the field. I don't expect to always inspire change, and I don't believe that I will be the sole cause of change in a student's life. But I am passionate about planting the seed...planting the seed that a student is not defined by their weaknesses, but by their strengths, and with just a little guidance and positive conversation, I want to help them see those strengths as I do.

Besides my passion for working with students, I know that I have become more confident, and more sure of my values and desires as an adult. And I have also come to question so many things in my life and belief system that I have never really taken the time to examine and question before. Whether or not this happened as a result of the program or just as a result of me getting older, I know that without some of the courses I took and really tough situations I went through, I wouldn't be able to identify some of the things that are so important to me now.

I see that I have become a better version of myself, but there is still so much room to grow. As tough, aggravating, exciting and emotional this experience was, I wouldn't change it (or any of the events that transpired) for the world, because it has built who I am now- like any significant life experience. I am so grateful to have found a career path I am so passionate about; being that fortunate is not lost on me- but I am also open to the idea that this may or may not be my only path, which I think is important. I'm just taking it one step at a time, in the pursuit of my contentedness in the life that I have.

In the ever wise words of Ms. Elle Woods:

 "It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself."

Weekend Review

Woowee! My weekend was jam-packed with socializing, work, and nursing a horrible hangover...woof. 

This was actually Wednesday after our LAST class ever! 

What I wore: I got this dress at TJ Maxx (my favorite store in case you couldn't tell) and it is a size 8! I think it runs big, but still, I felt great! 

Friday night we went to dinner at The Iron Hen Cafe. I had a portabello melt minus the melt (cheese) and I am glad I did because I am pretty sure the bread had butter on it. I got a salad on the side. The place was cute, but they were out of everything we wanted! Boohiss! 

After, we went to a convenience store to get drinks to bring to our friends' house. This place was a little out of date as we found some products that looked like they had been on the shelf since the early 90's...

Then we went over to one of my grad school cohort members' apartment for drinks- and a lot of photos of the graduates! 

We left pretty early, because I had to be up bright and early for a service project with some of my students from the program I work with. We worked with Habitat for Humanity, and part of the group went to the ReStore and part went to a job site. 

I was with the group that went to the ReStore. It was awesome because after we were done, we were able to shop in the ReStore and got 20% off!! I got two of these pillows for $17! 

The lighting is horrible but my couch is red...these coordinate with the fabric below which will be made into curtains one day in the future...lol

Anyways, that night Jason and I went out with our friends Jocelyn and Seiji. We had not seen them in months, and had never been able to go downtown with them so this was planned to be an epic night! So epic, that I did not get many pictures. 

Thanks for ruining our picture Seiji!

It was so much fun! Great music, great friends, dancing and one too many drinks. Which I paid for all day Sunday. When training for my 10k I pretty much stopped drinking, so going out 2 nights in a row this weekend was rough on me. Never. again. 

Sunday was spent recovering and doing homework. Fun fun. 

Time for this week to get underway! Tuesday is when I am OFFICIALLY done with grad school work, then Wednesday I am heading to a career development conference in Boone. Here's to hoping I don't unexpectedly fail a class (a recurring nightmare of mine). I seriously can.NOT.wait! 

Its also time to get back on the weight loss train this week! I am afraid of my weigh in on Tuesday because of this weekend, but I had fun, and I will be back on track this week when the stress is out of the way. I'll be back tomorrow to tell you about some goals and plans I have for my weight loss moving forward! 

Make it a good one :)